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How to Trust Yourself

How to trust yourself - The Change Journey | Trusting Tracey

Trusting Tracey is the first character in the self-belief stage of The Change Journey book. Her flower is the delphinium which symbolises self-trust.

Trusting Tracey is the crux of self-belief. She is everything that encompasses self-belief, if you have no self-trust, then self-belief becomes very hard.

Self-trust is all about trusting your decisions, trusting your feelings, trusting your intuition, trusting your gut and trusting your beliefs. Because what I have learned along my own Change Journey and I’m learning deeper and deeper each day… is that all of us have the answers that we need within us. Let me say that again, all of us have the answers that we are searching for, right here within us.

However, we all search externally for these answers, look to others for guidance and we look for validation from others about what we should and shouldn’t do. Yet in fact if we just looked within and then trusted that the answers we are receiving are the right ones for us, we would save ourselves a lot of effort and heartache.

However sometimes when the answers come from within, it’s hard to trust they are right. It’s easy to doubt them and question them and wonder whether or not there may be a better answer. So how can we learn to trust these inner answers more often?

The answer is… feeling. Asking yourself how does that inner wisdom feel? If it’s something that feels amazing, good and doable, then you can trust it. If it’s something that lights you up and makes you smile, then you can trust it. If it’s something that brings a little buzzing excitement to your belly, then you can trust it. See the pattern here?

Whenever you have to make a big decision or a decision that you are unsure of what to do. A decision where you’ve spent days throwing around options in your head and you still can’t decide what is the best way to go, then this is where you use my head / heart exercise. It’s an exercise that I use all the time, every big decision that I'm make goes through my head / heart exercise. Let me explain how it works.

First of all you start with your head. You ask yourself what are all the logical reasons (both pros and cons) that align with that decision. Look at it from all angles:

  • If I go ahead with this decision what would be the benefits?

  • If I go ahead with this decision what would be the cons?

  • If I don’t go ahead with this decision what would be the benefits?

  • If I don’t go ahead with this decision what would be the cons?

Then write down as many logical answers as you can think of, no matter how obscure.

Once you are done but that piece of paper aside and get another piece out. Now it’s time to look at your decision from your hearts perspective.

Ask yourself:

  • If I go ahead with this decision how would I feel?

  • If I don’t go ahead with this decision how would I feel?

Again write down whatever comes to you; both good and bad feelings. Keep going until you don’t feel like you can come up with any more answers.

Then you compare the two. Now you use all the data you have gathered to make a decision that you can trust.

How you feel about a decision has twice as much weight to it in terms of making the decision that the logical reasons do. You may find you have all the logical answers to go ahead with a decision but it feels heavy and horrible. In which case, if you go ahead with it you’ll either stop, give up or hate every step of the journey.

But if your decision lights you up and gets you excited then the journey will be enjoyable no matter how hard the logistics may be or how unknown the journey. Because the excitement shows you that this is something you really want.

You’ll be amazed at how, when you start to make your decisions using the head / heart exercise, your trust levels within your own intuition and your own belief, will increase tenfold. And that is what Trusting Tracey is about, learning to trust you and your intuition and your feelings and your decisions. So I really encourage you this week to practice doing the head / heart exercise and really have a look at how you feel about your decisions.

Self-trust is the essence of everything about you. Trust is so important in our world… if we have somebody that we trust, we feel safe and we share things with them. But if we have somebody who's sabotaged us in the past and we don't trust them, then you feel unsafe. So if you flip that over and turn that into self-trust, ask yourself how safe do you feel at the moment with yourself?

Self-trust is the most magical experience that you can give yourself. So, I really invite you to bring in as much Trusting Tracey this week as you can. It will increase your self-confidence, it will decrease your reliance on others, it will help you to validate your decision making and it will make you feel incredibly safe and loved. What more could you want?


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